4th of July Picnic

Dad didn’t have a whole lot of options when it came to the 4th of July, but he did have a great idea to have a picnic on the grounds of the VA. I’m putting together a couple video’s we took, and also a few pictures of everyone.

As per usual, Payton spent most of her time chasing squirrels, pushing Papa’s wheel chair(him in it or not) and constantly asking him to read her stories. As was also the norm, she would only pay attention for parts of the story, then move on to bigger and better things.

Our family feels fortunate we could have such a perfect 4th of July memory.

Some of the details for Dads service are coming together. It appears we’ll be having the service on August 1st. While we would love to accomodate everyone’s schedule, it will be the best time for our immediate family to have the service. I’ll provide details as they become available early next week. We encourage anyone who wants to come to please feel free. Dad specifically stated he wanted more of a celebration than a funeral.

The Long Road Home………..

About 5 years ago, we got devastating news, my dad had terminal prostate cancer.  The amazing part is that we never realized the blessing we were provided by the disease.  Maybe I wouldn’t have such a fond memory of the experience if things had lasted a short time, but in our case, it allowed mom and dad to move to Boise and for my relationship with my father to grow to a level I had never expected.

Each and every wall that doctors put up, he seemed to break down with reckless abandon.  Even in his last few months we were told on numerous occasions to only expect days, yet he pressed on with a courage and strength I could only hope to emulate some day.

Looking back from where I sit today,  many questions ran rampant through my head after my dad first came home and explained he was diagnosed with Terminal Prostate cancer.  Being in a world where so many instances feel impersonal, I felt this whole process would be one more step down a lonely road for all of us.  As things ended today, I couldn’t imagine how wrong my initial feelings turned out to be.

Support came from areas you’d never imagine. It started once my parents moved to Boise, they were fortunate enough to find a church which has been the backbone to my dads survival, as well as a sounding board for his ever growing faith.  I will never be able to thank the men who spent many hours reading, speaking and spending quality time with my dad, but I know that was part of his survival to live.  These men have helped my dad, and to many extents my mom, reenforce the path to his eternal home.

As odd as it sounds, the VA community living Center was one of the more humbling experiences of my life. It’s a surreal experience to see resident after resident speak to each other as family, even though many served in all corners of the world, at many different era’s of war.  The bond that each held is that of shared sacrifice, respect for their country, a sense of duty and most importantly a brotherhood that I can not begin to understand.  I don’t wish that my generation ever experiences the fear, pain and suffering that these men live(d) with, but I do hope we can recognize the sacrifice that each endured and take a minute to thank their service.

The long road home is different for every person, and every family. Ours felt like a never ending roller coaster.  Dads ability to fight always had us joking that he may outlive us all.  Even though his journey on earth ended today, I know he still will be there for me, my mom, my sister and the many people he touched through his ministry.

If there are any major regrets I will have over the next few weeks, it will surround Payton not being able to spend more time with her “papa”, and “papa” not being able to spend more time helping me become the father he was to me. I can’t articulate how proud he was of Payton, and how much joy she brought him.  One of the more touching moments revolved around a sticker book Payton had stored in my dads hospital room.  Each day she visited, she’d take 3 or 4 stickers and litter Papas hand with her gifts.  Tuesday night, Jess brought Payton down for one more session with papa.  Of course, she gave him a sticker to put on his hand. When he passed this morning, he still had his sticker on his hand which he refused to take off.  The proudest Papa in the world.

I’ve added a few pictures from the last few days, and this morning.  One of the more touching moments I’ve experienced was the VA’s handling of my dads passing.  After preparing his body and draping him with an american flag, residents from the VA gather and salute him on his way out of the building while taps is played.  They lived together, fought together, and die together.  I can’t think of a better or more fitting way for my dad to start his next journey.

Thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, and constant support over the years, and into the future.

Happy 4th of July

Happy 4th of July to all, and hopefully you’re all doing what I love best, hanging out with family and of course BBQ!

The fourth of July has a lot of great memories for our family.  The first is that I got married on the fourth, so I better not forget that one.  I’m still amazed we were able to get married on the 4th(and not the 5th) after the bus carrying our entire family got lost that day, but we made it and we’re happy to celebrate another year together.  I can’t say this has been the easiest year, nor the easiest last few months, but I can’t thank Jess enough for being here for me and our family.  A lot gets lost in the mix when families go through cancer, but the support systems are the glue that holds everyone together.  While my mom has showed a lot of courage, jess has continued to support me through the many hours spent at the VA.  It makes for a lot of single mom time, and I can’t thank her enough for allowing me that time.  

Another memory is all the times that my sister and I drove out on the 4th to get fireworks from the indian reservation.  Our dad would take us out on the 4th, give us around $20 and let the dealing begin.  It was my first real chance to barter and I’ll never forget going from stand to stand trying to fill up my bag.  We got all kinds of fun stuff as the reservation could sell whatever they wanted.  I’ll certainly be showing my age, but “back when i was a kid” they didn’t have many of the restrictions on fireworks they do today.  That made for much more entertaining displays, but much more dangerous as well.  I’m thankful we were all able to get out of our childhood safely considering all the fireworks we blew up.

There were many fun experiences with fireworks, one of which will always stick out in my mind.  We used to get bottle rockets and light them all over our neighborhood.  One 4th of July we went to a BBQ and we all brought our fireworks.  We were trying to light off bottle rockets into a cow field out of a PVC pipe without much success.  Finally, my dad came over and showed us how to do it, and then decided to give us an example shot.  He lit the bottle rocket, aimed the PVC pipe and launched the bottle rockets out into the field.  If anyone has much experience with bottle rockets, the best way to describe them is controlled chaos.  You can point it in a certain direction, but in all reality, you have no idea where its going from there.  As my dad found out, aiming one direction and having the bottle rocket listen are two entirely different things.  Once it was lit, he aimed and shot it into the field.  It took a few turns and landed right in the middle of a few cows.  It did it’s little explosion and all the cows shot off in different directions.  It was a pretty funny result, which wasn’t his intention.  I’m sure he wasn’t intending to show his young son that shooting at cows with bottle rockets is going to be a good idea(b/c i would have sat there and done it all night).  Anyhow, it was a funny example of how much fun we had with fireworks growing up. We had a lot of other examples, many I can’t repeat for fear of prosecution, but we were certainly lucky to have made it out with all limbs and at least our house not catching fire.

We’ll be spending our time grilling, swimming and enjoying friends and family over the weekend.  We’re still lucky enough to have dad around for the holiday so we’ll be spending time down at the VA with him.  He wanted to go watch fireworks at the park, but the hospital doesn’t allow him to leave very often(fathers day being the only exception so far).  He seems to be doing well overall.  The VA Hospice has done a good job controlling his pain level. He’s been increasing the meds since he arrived. He started with a pain patch @12.5, and is currently at 75 along with breakthrough pain meds.  While the meds have increased, he seems much more comfortable and lively.  Its still a surreal thought to think where we were a few weeks ago, and how he looked and what the doctors said would be the outcome by the end of the weekend.  He’s been fighting this disease for many years, and apparently decided to continue the good fight.  We’ve been able to have a lot of great memories the last few weeks, and hope to continue until his body and mind are ready.

I wish I could explain how things have taken some of different direction. The people that were here that weekend could all attest to the end of the road, and to see him now are amazed(I know I am).  I’m sure that being in the right environment has been a great blessing to his health.   It has also allowed him to do some arts and crafts. He decided this week to make Payton a bird Feeder.  They used to spend a lot of time at the old house feeding birds, and so my dad made her two different bird houses. One is a feeder, and the other is a bird house for a next.  I’ve attached a few pictures of him giving her the feeder.

Payton, Jess and I are doing well.  Jess is on summer break and spending a lot of time taking Payton to the park, hanging around the house and doing various yard work.  I’ve been working and playing softball on the side.  Payton is just enjoying the summer.  She loves the sand box in the back of our house, the pool, the park and just about any activity.  Jess’s mom got her a bike for her Bday coming up.  While she hasn’t been able to pedal yet, she does sit on it proudly and sure acts as if she’s going somewhere.

I’ll update with some pictures from our Fourth of July BBQ later in the week.  I’ve added a few pictures with Payton and my cousins son Ben.  He spent time with Payton over the week he spent here visiting my dad.  Ben is an amazing kid who spent the better part of a week entertaining the heck out of a 2 yr old, something that most people couldn’t do, nor would they have the patience.  He’s a great kid, and somewhat crazy, because the day he was at the pool it was somewhere around 70 degrees….no thanks.

I hope everyone has a great fourth and spends time with family and friends.

I’d also like to thank all those that have served our country.  The VA is a daily reminder of the great men and women who have served our country(at great cost).  For those of you who are away, and those of you who are here with your loved ones away, thank you.